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'And keep that faucet on so you are not eavesdropping!"The smirk Debbie gave Jenny caused my partner to stick her tongue outher boss and call her a spoilsport. As soon as we could hear the waterrunning, Debbie grabbed the chair and moved up next to me. In a quietvoice, Debbie began the questioning. "So, Alexa, how are you feeling?"I try and begin going on about the various injuries and how I wasrecovering but Debbie just shook her head. "I saw your chart, one nicething about being a MD I can do that. I am talking about you." Andwith that I could feel the smile disappear and I broke down in tears."I am so scared. I could have died!" I say as I bury my head in thepillow a bit. Debbie seems to understand that but she can tell thatthere is more than that going on in my head and continues to try andprod me along to get me to open up. After expressing a few moreconcerns about my own health, Debbie finally begins to get frustratedwith me. "You are holding back, what else is. ”“It’s all an act,” I said, staring at God’s embarrassed face, “it’s all just to test my resolve.”“Let me tell you something, honey.” Jesus said, leaning in, “I used to be like you. I devoted my entire life to God. I was celibate, I hardly drank, I didn’t gamble, I let everyone walk all over me. Then one day, I get dropped on my ass in the middle of hell, and Lucy here tells me I have to pass seven tests to become God’s chosen child. So, I’m super stoked, you know? Who doesn’t want a chance to prove their worth to the almighty? So, I go through with it, passing test after test, resisting the greatest temptations hell had to offer. And you know what my reward was? Getting nailed to the fucking cross and bleeding to death for six hours. Trust me, Sugar, it ain’t worth it.”“B-but your sacrifice,” I stammered, “you absolved us of sin!”“Ha!” Jesus laughed, “I died with shit all over me, begging our holy mother here to save my ass, but she was preoccupied at the time. What were you doing.
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